Can Christians curse? When, if ever, is it appropriate?
Some try to say that the Bible isn’t clear on the subject. Unfortunately this simply isn’t the case.
Ephesians 4:29, 5:4, and Colossians 3:8 pretty much seal the deal.
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”
“Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.”
(Yes, the Bible says pretty clearly that Christians shouldn’t make “that’s what she said” jokes.)
“But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.”
Let’s make sure we have the context. Both Ephesians passages are near the end of the letter and are written as final reminders to strive toward in unity. They are spoken to Christians to encourage them to grow closer together and to be better Christians. (Yes, I’m fine with using the phrase, “be better Christians.” No it’s not salvation by works.) The Colossians passage is spoken to Christians when making clear the difference between the old and new self. Paul is saying that the unregenerate man (the non-Christian) walks in the way of the sexually immoral, impure, covetous, angry, slandering sinner. The new man, the one justified by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone, is renewed in knowledge after the image of his creator. Paul seems to consistently lump “obscene,” “filthy,” and “corrupting” talk in with the telltale actions of a non-Christian.
The question that can then be posed by the pro-cursing Christian crowd is, “Are four letter words really always obscene corrupting and filthy?”
On a superficial level, this question seems rather ridiculous. (particularly to the white, middle-class, and older folks.) Something that is actually true, but hard for some to understand is the following:
In some circles, the f-word is used quite regularly as a term of endearment rather than a term of abuse.
I know… some of you think I’m off my rocker, and some others of you are cheering me on, but I affirm the complete accuracy of the underlined statement above. I don’t, however, affirm the goodness or badness of that particular reality; I only affirm that it is reality.
Since that’s the reality, lots of Christians don’t think it’s wrong to curse and they don’t pay any attention to the bible verses above. Because of that, this then is how I deal with the question of “bad language” as a Christian:
There are two things that should be considered when using words (ANY words, not just four-letter ones): (1) Intent and (2) Origin.
INTENT:
This is where the pro-cursing Christians like to camp out. To their minds, the reason the word is being used is the only important factor.
There is a lot of truth to the fact that the intent behind a word, what the word MEANS instead of what it SAYS, matters A LOT.
Whether saying the word “fair” or the word “f**k,” the reason you’re using it matters. This, I think, directly plays in to what Paul wrote in the passages above. He is telling people not to use words harshly in order to cut people down. Unwholesome, obscene, and rude talk may be passive aggressive complementary words uttered under the breath sarcastically or overly emphasized words of praise to show the opposite meaning is intended.
Words are tools to communicate ideas, and if the idea is crude, rude, or lewd, the word you use makes little difference.
If this were all there were to it, I would be in complete agreement with the pro-cursing Christians. Unfortunately, there’s a layer of language they often forget about in their arguments.
ORIGIN:
The origin of a word matters A LOT. Where the word came from makes a difference. Words have more baggage than Jerry Springer and more layers than Shrek.
The study of word origins is called etymology. I am an etymologist at heart and I wish more people would join me.
We can’t always use words the way we want to. Regardless of what WE MEAN by a word, what the WORD MEANS sometimes wins out.
Without a historical, grounded, agreed-upon meaning of words, all conversation is utter nonsense.
If I say, “Green tulips make giraffes pump basketball funny bazinga.” It won’t make any sense. I may MEAN, “May I have some cheesecake, please,” but I won’t get to eat any of that creamy goodness with the first sentence; I will with the second.
That’s not to say that language doesn’t change. It absolutely does, but the origins of the words still hang around and inform the change. The word never does an about face and mean the exact opposite of what it started out meaning. The word only changes a shade or a tint. The color of a word may go from blue to teal, but not from black to white.
A good example is the word “kaphar” the word for “atone” in the Hebrew language. One of its meanings was “to cover” like “to cover in pitch.” It’s used of Noah when he “atones” the inside of the ark to make it waterproof. We know that the word took on a new shade when applied to the sins of the nation of Israel on “The Day of Atonement.” The blood of the sheep slain on that day would “cover” the sins of Israel. It took on an even greater sense with the “atonement” of Christ. His death “covered” all in a new and powerful way… a way that many people have written complete books about. Yes, the word changed, but some semblance of the original meaning still hung around.
Words mean certain things whether we want them to or not. Words like “f**k,” “s**t,” “b**ch” and the like are, historically, (and in our culture in particular) intrinsically linked with rather lewd, gross, dirty, or insulting things. Foul smelling bodily functions, forced copulation, insults by lowering someone’s class, etc. are all ideas connected with these words. Their origin, or agreed upon meaning, is not to encourage but to discourage.
For this reason, I think it unwise for Christians to curse. Because words have meanings that we can’t divorce from them, it is prudent to avoid words that we can all agree have a stigma attached to them. The Christian is to be respected by others and above reproach. It also hurts their witness for a Christian to be foul-mouthed. As Paul cautioned the Corinthians, while all things might be permissible, not all things are profitable.
A FEW FINAL THOUGHTS:
I find the question of bad language to be a fitting gauge by which to measure the general moral standing of the culture. I was very disappointed by the running joke in Avengers 2 about Captain America’s issues with bad language. And (minor spoilers) I was very disappointed that he cursed at the end. The complete reversal of morality in that gag astonished me. The rest of the team was actually ragging on Captain America because he DIDN’T want to curse. Total example of peer pressure causing a man to compromise his morals… and we’re laughing about it?
I think back to stories of when “Gone with the Wind” was released and new regulations had to be written allowing the iconic Rhett Butler line on the screen. Christians were flabbergasted that the d-word made it on the big-screen. Compare this, with the 569 f-bombs dropped in “Wolf of Wall Street.” Of course, there were a lot of other moral problems with that film… but that’s just the point. The culture has fallen from a place of keen moral awareness to almost complete moral incognizance, and language is a good measuring stick to show how true that is.
How do I really feel about it? To be honest, it bothers me a lot more when people say “Oh my g*d” than when people say “f*ck.” The first one is actually taking the Lord’s name in vain.
If you and your Christian friends are always cursing at each other and you know that you don’t really mean it… I don’t really care. I think it’s wrong and I won’t be participating because of the “Origin” argument, but no… I don’t really care. I don’t really care when they curse around me either. The fact that I don’t really care kind of scares me, because I should. I should be encouraging good works and good words and spurring my Christian brothers on to wholesome language and sanctifying actions. That’s my own sin that I repent of often and ask to have the renewed mind of God about instead of the depraved mind of Stephen about.
Finally, I think most Christians who advocate for the “okayness” of cursing are really just trying to justify themselves because they don’t want to change a way that they behave. I think they know deep down that they shouldn’t curse and that’s why they ask me my opinion about it.
Sometimes you just need to hear someone speak the truth about a thing.
I know none of them will agree with me on that, but to them I simply say, “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a…hoot.”